The Method For Child Self-Discipline
All too often parents confuse child discipline with punishment, but these work at cross purposes.
The more you punish a child, the angrier that child is going to become, and anger drives children into behavior problems, not solutions.
But this, of course, does not mean that passive, permissive parenting is the parenting solution.
Teaching children appropriate behavior is not the same as punishing them for getting it wrong.
Establishing boundaries should never be punitive, but rather protective, loving and supportive.
Some parents believe that being harsh and punitive with children prepares them for real life, but it just prepares them to produce the same level of unhappiness, relationship problems and other difficulties that the angry, punitive, vindictive parent has been suffering with.
The reason why adults fall into the trap of counting on harsh disciplinary tactics is because they themelvees are suffering deeply as those tactics portray the self-punishing ways that those parents are relating with themselves.
Establishing boundaries compassionately cultivates the child’s ability to recognize and heed appropriate boundaries on her own. More importantly, it raises the child to care enough about himself and others to respect safe and considerate boundaries.
The expression of annoyance does not help a child to do better – when a child is exposed to too much annoyance it lowers the child’s self-esteem, driving the child to disrespect herself through behavior that misaligns with her best interests.
Child discipline is really about the child's demonstration and development of healthy and positive SELF-direction. This happens automatically as we parents model higher levels of self-direction.
Too many of us fall into the trap of believing that our problems in life are created by what others are doing, including our children.
The reality is that we create what happens to us.
Everything going on in your life, including your child's behavior, is a reflection of what you are saying, thinking, feeling and doing.
What are you dedicated to achieving in your life? Does that represent the very best that you can do? As you raise your intentions to a higher level your child will raise her's.
Notice how you behave in response to how you child behaves. You are likely to see plenty of room for self-improvement there - plenty of room for a higher level of self-discipline.
The problem with self-discipline though, is that it really is largely out of our control. Begin paying more attention to your thoughts, actions, behaviors and speech and you will quickly see what I mean.
These occur automatically. You continue reacting in the same old ways and then you wonder why things aren't improving.
The fact is that if you have a child behavior problem, that is a reflection of a parent behavior problem.
The way to improve your behavior is by improving what guides you behavior.
When our behavior is run by emotional reactions we must continue producing the same old problems, because those reactions are automatic and repetative, driving us into the same old behavior-reaction patterns.
If you could be guided by a higher level of loving intelligence your behavior would produce more satisfying results.
This is what The Method for parenting. By freeing us from our negative emotional reaction patterns it enables us to recieve a higher level of compassionate, wise, intuitive guidance in any given moment. Though our modelling this leads the child into connecting with his own higher level of intelligent, compassition intuition for improved self-direction.
Contact me to schedule your demonstration of The Method For Parenting to improve your relationship and results with your child.