The Method For Easily Directing Child Behavior
Directing child behavior with loving approval is far easier AND MORE FRUITFUL than trying to direct WITH disapproval.
When you don’t approve of your child’s behavior, look WITHIN to see how you disapprove of yourself.
Self-disapproval is a toxic inner state that turns into toxic parenting. We do not improve our own behavior through self-disapproval and we do not improve the child's behavior through disapproval. We teach the child self-disapproval which de-motivates the child from doing his or her best.
Let’s say that your child has just spoken disrespectfully to you. If you lash out in anger you might cause the child to fear and distrust you, but not to respect you. Th child must feel perfectly safe with you to truly respect you.
If chastise the child for his disrespectful speech you overlook the real cause of it. You THINK you are teaching the child a lesson, and you are. You are teaching the child to overlook how he causes what happens to him. You are teaching him to count on others for his own sense of self-respect.
Your real intention in response to your child's show of disrespect is to lead your child into a respectful way of relating to herself, to you and to others. You can only do that by example.
Instead of lasing out when you disapprove of your child's behavior, pause and look within. You will see a feeling of disapproval causing you to feel de-valued and disrespected.
Then, instead of trying to change your child's behavior, use The Method to free yourself from this negative way of relating with yourself.
The moment you do this you will find your child's attitude and behavior improving, just as yours improves.
As you model heart-centered, approval-based parenting, you direct your child's behavior without making any direct effort to change or control your child.
I know of no better way of achieving this than through the use of The Method For Parenting.
Contact me to schedule your demonstration of The Method For Parenting to improve your relationship and results with your child.